Once a week I attend a meeting called triads, its a program my church set up for the church congregation to meet up in small groups to grow closer to God, I was really blessed because I chose the option for the church staff to find two random people to have triads meetings with. One of the men I go to Bible study with and the other man is a wise older gentlemen that did missionary work in africa for 20+ yrs with his wife. In our last triads meeting Gord the older gentlemen spoke up and said that he would like to create a ripple effect so the word of God could be spread beyond us three. Me and the other gentlemen was confused at first and that is when Gord spoke up and said he would like to mentor us to be leaders so we could lead our own triads group in a year or two from now.
At first I felt uneasy about the request but when I got home the Holy Spirit reminded me of a dream I had last year where I was in a leadership role, that’s when I got to thinking just how good God is to us because Gord, has 30+ yrs out in the community in a leadership role and he has mentored a few over the years as well. I am really excited to have this opportunity to be mentored by Gord with his years of experience and expertise. So if you could please keep me in your prayers that I will not let self defeating doubt get in the way of me learning the skill sets of leadership.
I was a porn addict not to long ago and I’m here to tell you I understand the false thrill and the condemnation Satan lays upon your heart. I promise this back story leads into my porn addiction I am right now explaining the foundation that was built leading me into porn.
If you haven’t read the previous post then please do so before you read part 5
At first Belle wasn’t aware of my sinful addiction and I was in a downward spiral losing control even though I felt in control, but see that is what the devil wants you to think, he want’s you to think you’re in control but reality is you’re not in control you’re just being played like a puppet.
Satan had me right where he wanted me because I wasn’t just harming myself from the poisonous addiction, no instead I was destroying the very woman I claimed to love with all my heart. She told me that my addiction to pornography left her feeling ugly, insecure lonely, etc. I felt like a monster because I hurt her so badly but at the same time I felt trapped by my addiction to pornography and every time I tried to stop viewing porn satan would tug on my weakness by tugging on the very hidden dark desires within my heart.
I would constantly ask God for forgiveness which seemed like 50,000 times a day but I just couldn’t escape the addiction I would plead daily for God to deliver me but I would go days where it seemed like God wasn’t there then one day the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said “my child it’s already over for the Son of God paid for your addiction“
Even though I knew the almighty Lord Jesus Christ paid for my sins I still couldn’t escape the feeling of being trapped within my own mind because of the lustful thoughts happening within daily. One day I decided I was going to break away from porn and as I did for a few days I noticed the desire within grew stronger and instead of fighting back I gave in. I did this to the point that I really didn’t know myself anymore because the poison was erasing me from within. I can remember it was a hot summer night and Belle wanted to go for a walk but I kept her waiting for over a hour for me because I was watching porn. After I finally made it outside she asked me what took me so long and I just quietly and shamefully looked at her. She deep down knew it wasn’t good and she told me to come clean with her so I did and that’s when I had a outburst how I felt trapped but yet I felt like a slave for a God that didn’t want to deliver me. Belle looked at me and said the Almighty God wants to help you but you won’t let him breath life back into you!
I bursted into tears and Belle then said to me I can see the Lord is answering my prayers I was puzzled by this and that’s when she said to me I can see the Holy Spirit is breaking through the thick wall and laying conviction on your heart. Then she looked and me and said Mike, the Lord said it’s time you need to decided your next set of actions because the Lord is waiting for you to trust Him so He can strengthen you to overcome this addiction. She also told me that the Lord had heard all my my cries for help but I was refusing to receive the help and that was where my downfall was stopping me from letting the Holy Spirit complete the transformation within.
I remember it clearly that night I fell to my knees and just poured my heart out to the Lord and the Lord replied back with the following My child I have heard your plea for help,My child prepare yourself because you will suffer emotional pain so transformation can take place because I must cut you open to drain the poison within you.
Emotional pain I did suffer due to the withdraws from the poison within but I noticed everytime I tried to close the wound the Lord would pour His love upon me opening the wound wider to flush the poison flowing through my viens.
To Be Continued
Thank you for taking the time to read my latest post. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Did you find this post interesting ? How about checking out the archives or trying your luck with a random post never know what you will come across to read!!! S^K (†Souljahz For Christ Ministry†) Souljahz 4 Christ Ministry Motto: God’s faithful foot Souljahz charging the front lines of Spiritual Warfare,To seek out the lost and hurt souls to display God’s Love for humanity. (Ezekiel 37) God Bless,
When it comes to serving our powerful God, we can never do enough to climb higher in His Glory, It is just not enough if you want the desire to continue to grow within. I have learned this very lesson for about a year now because every time I start to feel like I’m on track pleasing my almighty God, He always tells me, my child step it up I now you have more within you because I created you to do GREAT things through me.
Thank you for taking the time to read my latest post. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Did you find this post interesting ? How about checking out the archives or trying your luck with a random post never know what you will come across to read!!! S^K (†Souljahz For Christ Ministry†) Souljahz 4 Christ Ministry Motto: God’s faithful foot Souljahz charging the front lines of Spiritual Warfare,To seek out the lost and hurt souls to display God’s Love for humanity. (Ezekiel 37) God Bless,
Apologies for not posting this request by 5:00 PM, yesterday due to Slik’s eye infection is causing blurry vision so he cannot see well nor read the emails, I Balding 2 soon, didn’t check the email either because Slik usually takes care of it and now that He cannot see I will make sure until his eyes are better that all prayer requests are posted as promised by 5 PM if schedule permits.
Mother of a Warrior, wrote the following request,
I Feel the deep need to pray for a fellow blogger. Just read a page and knew that this life worth standing and fighting for through prayer and intercession.
Please joing me in praying for a lady who’s late husband passed and teen daughter is lost through the pain of a hard life.
I know that ALL Things work together for the good and glory of God.
At first Belle wasn’t aware of my sinful addiction and I was in a downward spiral losing control even though I felt in control, but see that is what the devil wants you to think, he want’s you to think you’re in control but reality is you’re not in control you’re just being played like a puppet.
Did you find this post interesting ? How about checking out the 
