I was a porn addict not to long ago and I’m here to tell you I understand the false thrill and the condemnation Satan lays upon your heart. I promise this back story leads into my porn addiction I am right now explaining the foundation that was built leading me into porn.
In the previous post I finished the post with the following below
Even though I hurt many women and many women hurt me God still choose to place Belle, in my life as a hero figure so I could see the Hero in God himself, as I think about that its ironic how God choose to fulfill His will sometimes.
In 2005 my father passed away shortly before he passed away I found out I had a pituitary brain tumor and that I had grown breast on my chest because of the tumor. Shortly after finding about the new found tumor my father passed away and I spent the next 4 1/2yrs in a dark spot. I kept questioning my sexual preference, (although I never acted upon dating me) I was also mad at God because I felt I was being punished with breast because of all the hurt I dealt women over the years.
Belle stuck by my side even though I acted like her female besty because I was confused. By 2010 I snapped out of the confusion and decided I wanted to date females only. By mid 2011 the doctor told me that the medicine was shrinking the tumor but my body was not producing enough testosterone and she was worried about more breast growth so she started me on testosterone hormone therapy, this also explained why I didn’t have a sex drive for 2 + yrs. The doctor warned me that I would feel like a teenager with raging hormones all over again I thought how bad can that be I have already dealt with that issue in my teen years. Well It was a big issue and I became tempted to constantly have sex and Belle and I had been dating for 10 + yrs by now and she wanted to honor God by not having sex before marriage, and this wasn’t good enough for me, so I started a relationship with another woman to have a purely sexual relationship with but I became full of guilt after a couple of months and broke it off with her. At this point I turned to the internet to start searching naked photo’s pf women and the hunger grew from there and I turned to porn and the addiction became like a genie in a bottle taunting me to push deeper into the sin of sexual immorality.
There is a price to pay and it is a heavy price because the more you start to indulge into porn the more isolated you become because your mind begins to alter into thinking of self sexual gratification and the women on the net become objects for your sexual playground within your mind. The saying goes once you let the genie out of the bottle the troubles begin. The genie is the wicked desires that lay doormat within your heart and once you start to rub the bottle the devil begins to attack you hard by making the genie in bottle seem harmless.
pornography addiction is like a hidden viper laying in wait to attack and once the viper does the poison keeps you intoxicated to the point of almost no return, the reason I say almost no return is because God is the last thing on your mind at the time and at least for me once I was done viewing pornography I felt so condemned that it left me feeling that God wanted nothing to do with me. It was quite the opposite because God knew what I was going through but the more I watched porn the more I let the viper disguised as a genie poison me.
At first the toxic poison activates the emotional high and once you’re in a carefree state of mind the poison moves into phase two and numbs you, so you don’t feel the effects from the poison attacking you, while all along the poison within keeps you in a mind state that what you’re doing is simply harmless, see the poison is designed to kill you over time because the devil can harm you more this way by racking up the charges of sin, because after awhile the hunger within grows so deep that you’ll begin to move onto other sexual gratifications that is dishonoring to your body.
1 Corinthians 6:18
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. (NIV)
To Be Continued
Thank you for taking the time to read my latest post. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
Did you find this post interesting ? How about checking out the archives or trying your luck with a random post never know what you will come across to read!!! S^K (†Souljahz For Christ Ministry†) Souljahz 4 Christ Ministry Motto: God’s faithful foot Souljahz charging the front lines of Spiritual Warfare,To seek out the lost and hurt souls to display God’s Love for humanity. (Ezekiel 37) God Bless,
Like I said in the previous post God had His hand upon me and He used Belle, to show His love through her Christ like actions. She was far from perfect and we dated behind her abusive fiance’s back when he left to join the military, during those short 8 months her fiance tried many times to get ahold of Belle, but he couldn’t for most of the time and when he finally did she told me her thoughts were preoccupied with thoughts of her and me.
