I recently published part 4 which you can read by clicking→ here← if you haven’t read it yet . If you haven’t read part 1 yet please do so by clicking →here ←because the post after part one are in reverse chronological order leading up to the events in part 1 and beyond.
Please bear with me as I have taken some pause time here and there on this post series as I write about my life’s testimony that’s happen so far. It’s dredging up feelings I didn’t know were deep within me and some of the feelings are bringing pain upon me that seems very fresh at times. Please also take note this post will have secular music associated with it to help set the tone for the post.
In part 4 I left off with the following phrase
It wasn’t until she got arrested that another mutual person I knew told me that she was wanted for murder and con-artist type crimes.
Shortly after hearing the news about the women that was my sugar momma being wanted I ended up moving back in with my mom. When I got back home I had to deal with still being on probation, plus I was stressed over my ex-girlfriend because I found out she got married and that they planned to have her new husband sign the baby certificate, I was also dealing with my parents getting a divorce and my mother already dating another man 6 years older than I am. My father razed me daily blaming me because my mother left him, because the pressure was building up I begin to feel like I was emotionally drowning within daily.
My inner demons started to bleed out as well it seemed others around me that their inner demons were bleeding out around me as well leading me to feel overwhelmed, so one day I skipped school and got home before my mother got home from work. I decided to take an overdose I took 3 bottles from the medicine cabinet they each had a 3month supply of very potent medicine in them. I took about half of each bottle and waited for my life to fade away. God on the other hand had other plans for me that day and those plans didn’t have death in the blue prints. I remember I was breathing very shallow when I heard my mother come into the house from work and when she come from around the kitchen corner she was greeted with me lying on the floor barely breathing so she called 911.
I remember lying on that floor thinking to myself Lord if you truly love me than save me now but as time pressed on the medicine started to take effect and I started to feel high and very drowsy. The thought just let me die start racing through my mind because I felt the world will be better off without me. I passed out before the emergency crew arrived , when they did arrive I remember feeling the male paramedic’s knuckles going back and forth against my chest because he was trying to wake me up and I didn’t respond to the smell packet waved in front of my nose. When they got me to respond they started an IV and gave me medicine to counter act the medicine already in me, as they headed out the door with me on the stretcher I recall the male paramedic said to the female paramedic I need to be in the back with this patient instead of driving like I usually do. The woman was uneasy about his choice because he was still new to the career field and he still had a lot to learn, but he knew enough to be on the field so she let him get in the back for the long haul.
As I was in the back of the ambulance the male paramedic was trying everything possible to keep me alive, I was near death many times in the back of that ambulance I can remember seeing a tunnel with a very bright light and I was falling away from it each time I saw the tunnel and the fall felt endless. Later I was told because I was near death in the ambulance and that I was non-responsive that the paramedic stabbed me with a needle full of adrenaline to help me survive the ride. I kept pleading with him to stop working on me and just let me die and that I didn’t take the medicine to seek attention and that I surely had a mindset to die that day. He asked me what could be so bad that I needed to die that day. I remember telling him my life is a mess and the newest mess was with my recent ex-girlfriend as well my mother dating a man 6yrs older than me while she waits to divorce my father. The men lean down and whispered in my ear that his girlfriend had an abortion behind his back and he proceed to tell me that he got through it and that I could get through this as well, I replied rudely to him by saying I am not you, now let me die. He proceed to lean down near my ear again but this time he whispered in my ear you need to stay alive God is not done with you yet he has great plans in-store for you, He is going to place you in a position were He will use you to reach many. At this point I tried my best to fight to say alive and I kept fading in and out the male paramedic told the female paramedic at this point he didn’t care how she got to the hospital but she needed to step on the gas and get there like it was yesterday because I was getting worse.
Lord save me from the fast darkness my spirit is vastly approaching
As I continued to fade in and out every time I came to I remember saying in my head Lord please don’t let me die because I don’t want to go to hell, even though I didn’t experience hell fully I experienced hell just enough to know I didn’t want to be there. Every-time I faded back out in the back of the ambulance I could see this dark tunnel with endless falling from the bright light and I can remember my soul feeling tortured because the light grew smaller each time I started falling.
When I reached the Hospital a nurse apparently jumped on me to squeeze the bag attached to the mask I remember feeling my chest being pressed multiple times but I couldn’t wake up even though I could hear her screaming at me to open my eye’s, her voice echoed at me as if she was in the tunnel with me and her voice continued to fade further away. Then all of sudden I come to and took a deep breath the nurse on top of me said that was a close one and jumped off the stretcher. As she started to walk away the doctor come by to check on me and they started to pump my stomach and I started to fade out again I remember at that point the doctor yelling grab the crash cart now we are losing him before our very eye’s. I remember nothing after that other than the tunnel started to get hot and my flesh felt like it was melting off me and that I also couldn’t see anything around me it was pitch black at this point. Time seized to exist and the torture feeling of melting flesh seemed endless.
The Almighty Savior save me from hell that day.
To Be Continued Check out the earlier posts in the series via the new Testimony page
Thank you for taking the time to read my latest post
Did you find this post interesting ? How about checking out the archives or trying your luck with a random post never know what you will come across to read!!! S^K (†Souljahz For Christ Ministry†) Souljahz 4 Christ Ministry Motto: God’s faithful foot Souljahz charging the front lines of Spiritual Warfare,To seek out the lost and hurt souls to display God’s Love for humanity. (Ezekiel 37) God Bless,