2012 has come to an end and 2013 has started, but I would like to take a moment and speak about how God has shaped me during the year of 2012. (This post will be broken down into parts)
Many times throughout the year the Holy Spirit offered me the easier route to surrender and trust Him, but I kept ignoring the prompts from the Holy Spirit. Like I’ve said before the ones that have pretty much followed the posts published on this blog since the start know I’ve suffered with trust issues due to childhood abuse. All though the Holy Spirit gave me many chances to surrender and trust Him I refused, then one day the Holy Spirit spoke to me with a stern voice saying to me.
You have left me no choice but to back you up into the corner prepare yourself heavy rejection is coming your way and you will need to surrender and trust me to get through it.
Many may think God was being cruel but really He wasn’t he warned me for 6 months to surrender and to trust Him, but I refused so I left God in the position to show hard love, and I’m thankful Jehovah loves and cares for me that much that he was willing to allow me to become backed into the corner and go through the suffering through the trials before me, because I see and handle rejection differently now.
Lord I Surrender
At first I got rebellious towards God I would cry out “why are you allowing this you know how I feel about rejection” and God replied back “You left me no choice now try to trust me” instead of trusting Him I grew depressed and felt defeated Satan was having a hay day with me at this point. Then one day a situation come about and I knew deep down I needed God so I threw up my white flag telling him I surrendered. At this point I had a mind-set I would take baby steps with trusting God, and the more steps I took the more obedience the Lord required of me and I noticed when I would oblige the heavier the rejection got and I started to crack under the pressure and the past childhood emotions started to flood to the surface.
I started to run from the emotions within until I finally broke all the way
As I keep avoiding the emotions within the Holy Spirit spoke to me one day and said
The rejection you are afraid of you use as your defense mechanism holding people at arms link not giving them a chance to prove to you if they’re friend or foe, but what is worse I have shown you Grace, Mercy, and Love, and you are rejecting the very gifts I try to freely hand you.
After the Holy Spirit spoke to me I realized I needed to get away from the path of broken promises because this path was causing me to live in the past.
I knew the challenge before me to get off the path of the past of all the broken promises wasn’t going to be easy, and that it was going to require me to trust God more. The task seemed impossible because it’s all I’ve ever known was broken promises and failure. I mean my father took delight in breaking promises and that in-return killed my ability to trust, this left me feeling how was I going to reanimate the ability to trust when I have stuffed that ability deep within me like a hidden grave. I knew the answer I was going to need God to resurrect the damaged ability but I also knew that it was going to be painful and that is where the road block lied.
To Be Continued
Thank you for taking the time to read my latest post
Did you find this post interesting ? How about checking out the archives or trying your luck with a random post never know what you will come across to read!!! S^K (†Souljahz For Christ Ministry†) Souljahz 4 Christ Ministry Motto: God’s faithful foot Souljahz charging the front lines of Spiritual Warfare,To seek out the lost and hurt souls to display God’s Love for humanity. (Ezekiel 37) God Bless,