Why I Truly Believe There Is A True Loving Merciful God Part 3

I  Need to Apologize when I started to write part two I decided to write the testimony from the past leading up to point of my father passing away which leads to the present and how all this drew me to the Lord,  Some books and movies start out with the ending then they rewind and tell a story how the ending come about the Holy Spirit has laid this request upon my heart to write this testimony in such fashion. If you haven’t read post one yet please do so by [clicking here] so the dialog will remain intact. I’ve updated post 2 with the same message as well.

In my last post I finished with the following

At this point of my life it was a turning point for me because I truly hated myself and I felt worthless so I decided I would do anything to fit in even if it meant losing my life trying to fit in.

It was a turning point for me because the hatred consumed me so much I had no love to show towards others instead I sought out people to hurt because I was hurting so much within, unfortunately I turn that hatred towards women at the age of 12 because I sought them out for physical love and I didn’t care if I left them feeling used I actually took delight in them feeling used and worthless by my actions of getting sexual gratification and leaving them afterwards.

I created this picture scene using Pizap

After  a couple of months of using women for self-seeking sexual gratification I ended having sex with a female that was dating a well-known gang member and I didn’t know it until a week later when he confronted me at school. He was pretty calm about it he gave me the option to join the gang by taking a serious initiation beating and as well keep her as my girlfriend instead of her still being his girlfriend. I went with the opportunity given because the gang promoted family hood plus it was a 2 for the price of 1 opportunity, but shortly after joining I realized just how much that family hood was going to cost me in the long run but I didn’t care because it was more than I was receiving on the home front. Within just a few short months I was getting highly involved in criminal activity and it fueled my hatred within all the more but I couldn’t stop because it was like an emotional high and I really felt for once like I was apart of something instead of feeling abandoned.

Just in a short time frame I gained a high reputation of respect because I made a name for myself because I wouldn’t take crap from anyone and I didn’t back down from anything or anyone. Some said I was living a suicidal lifestyle and I was I didn’t have a care in the world satan had me so convinced that I was worthless and because of the hatred within I lived life by the edge of the cliff daily. It wasn’t until I turned 16yrs old that God’s love shined upon my heart for the first time and that Got me to reconsider my life style and I decided to get out of the Gang life but I was stuck because once you’re in and with the amount of stuff I saw, did, and knew, left only one option and that was a bullet to the head if I really wanted to exit the gang life.

I really thank God, because he had another route for the exit plan already in place and that exit route involved a friend that was a higher rank than I was he had a child on the way and when he found out it was a boy he didn’t want the gang lifestyle for his son and he knew if he stayed in his son would be born into the gang lifestyle automatically due to the gang rules. So he went to his leader because he knew his leader owned him a couple of favors for something my friend did for his leader so he requested to get out and raise his son outside of the gang life and my friend said he would like it if his leader could make it possible for me to leave as well because I was done with the lifestyle, I wanted more in life.

After 2 weeks the leader came back and said its done but the both of you better never represent this gang or become apart of another gang affiliation or I will have you both killed on the spot. Anyone that has lived the gang life knows how hard it is to get out let alone have a leader excuse you from such life If it wasn’t for God I would have never made it out of the gang life

To Be Continued
Thank you for taking the time to read my latest post
Did you find this post interesting ? How about checking out the archives or trying your luck with a random post never know what you will come across to read!!! S^K (†Souljahz For Christ Ministry†) Souljahz 4 Christ Ministry Motto: God’s faithful foot Souljahz charging the front lines of Spiritual Warfare,To seek out the lost and hurt souls to display God’s Love for humanity. (Ezekiel 37) God Bless,