Porn Again Christian Part 1 Of 2

I am aware that this post starts out kinda slow and boring but I promise the story picks up as you get further down part 2 is from the aspect of a addicts mind…
Recently I Publicly announced I had a Porn addiction And I am still receiving Healing for my lack of discipline as well my decisions that displayed lack of wisdom… I am pretty sure some will say that the title should have Been Born Again Christian But God, Spoke to My Heart to put Porn Again Christian for 2 reasons [1] the title is eye catching [2] when someone searches for Porn Hopefully this post will show up in the search results and people searching for Porn will become intrigue to click-through to the post with hope that God, may use this post to place a seed of hope in their heart… Since I have written about my Porn struggle I have been under heavy attack from my flesh as well satan even though I failed at times with Lustful thoughts after posting my testimony I didn’t let it tear me down or hold me back Instead I took the opportunity after falling to my knees from my failures to pray to God, to condition my heart and mind to be in sync with His, will… The reason I am writing this post is because God spoke to my heart to write this post God, has been pushing me out of my comfort zone lately and I have seen rapid changes in certain parts of my life… I didn’t want to write about this topic because of my former addiction in fear writing about it may lead me into temptation I know God, would never lead me into temptation but my flesh will try to as well satan will throw out his temptations…

 Sexual addiction (Lust)

With today’s technology Sexual Actions are at the reach of our fingertips for such examples (Sexting) (Armature Webcam showings) (Internet chat rooms) (Taking Nude Pics with Mobile Phone) All Though these are just a few examples my point is from your average Teenager’s to your Average House Wife’s has access to making money by taking pics of them selves nude or by providing a web cam showing to participants that are willing to pay…

Even though while indulging into lustful actions most don’t realize that satan is using the Demon of Lust to disguise sin and make it seem like it’s perfectly okay and you’re doing nothing wrong Satan has gone as far injecting the thought into my mind It’s okay to watch you’re doing nothing wrong if they didn’t want you to enjoy they wouldn’t have shared their bodies on the net… If you notice the blame is being shifted from you and placed upon the person that is displaying them selves in a distasteful manner but because satan is a master at deceiving 98% of the time the person buys into the lies… But what is truly happening is while the devil is feeding you these lies he has his other demons of various sins as well attacking your soul by enticing you to commit other sins as well for such examples (Doing Drugs While viewing Porn) (Drinking to get drunk while viewing porn) (ending up in a stripe club after viewing porn) The one sin satan hides from you is ADULTERY (yes I said ADULTERY)  Most don’t realize while you’re lusting over someone else if your married or not that you’re committing adultery in your heart

Matthew 5:28

English Standard Version (ESV)

28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Satan Is A Trap Artist

Romans 12:2 (ESV)

2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Even though I knew it was wrong to continue indulging with lust the reason I continued is because I started to believe the lies satan was feeding me I felt like all the times in the past year I have asked God, for forgiveness for this sinful action that God, was truly done with me and that Hope was long gone so I just kept indulging because I figured that if there is no more Hope for me than I might as well continue with not fighting against the flesh as well the temptation because I won’t win so I let the thought fester in my mind join what you can’t go against…

As I kept indulging Satan was in the background attacking my soul by feeding me eye candy through the window to my soul and as I kept indulging satan was silently killing me on the inside while hiding the fact that while I was looking at  beautiful women nude my soul, was screaming out wake up because what you’re seeing is not true in the spiritual aspect because in the spiritual aspect looking at these women in a untasteful manner is allowing the fire from Hell to captivate you and entrap your soul from the Glory of God,

Satan will try everything up his sleeve to make lust seem enticing while hiding the true fact he’s in the background sucking the very spiritual life out of your soul this is why you need to call out to God, so he can remove the blinders satan has set forth in place in your mind, The video below is a great representation of satans trickery.

The Battle Continues

Recently I wrote a post that pertained to seeking Gods, Love instead of seeking Love in all the wrong places… I had a sleep test the night I wrote the post at my appointment I thought to my self this will be a perfect time to relax and reflect on Gods, word whiles searching deep within my heart as well before I start the sleep test…

I actually learnt a lot!

Even though I recently wrote a post about overcoming addiction with sexual lust, and how God, started to heal me and deliver me from captivity from the sexual lust sin, one thing I didn’t take into account was myself (Flesh) I didn’t take the time to realize that Satan was going to sit in the background and wait for me to give into my selfish desires (I know I should have Known Better)  this allowed a door to open for Satans Temptation which has kicked into over drive since I wrote the post… Even though satan choose another route to quietly tempt me it actually was annoying me at first because of all the random provocative imagery being in my presence from examples such as Commercials, Billboards, Random Youtube Videos, etc… I got to the point why fight it when I will be forced around this kind of imagery the rest of my life because of the way society’s acceptance of sexualization of everything possible for the sole purpose Sexual Imagery Drives Sales So I started to give up and stop fighting my fleshes desires as well the temptation… I knew this was wrong but I just felt hopeless that I was never going to overcome this lust issue fully, as well helpless because I kept relying on my strength because of my pride getting in the way…

I also started to feel like God was done with me granted that I have changed a bit in the aspect I don’t watch porn anymore but I was having issues with undressing women with my eye’s when the provocative imagery was placed before me… This lead me back to looking at nude photos again and I knew this was going to lead back to porn at some point and I didn’t want that but I couldn’t stop undressing women with my eye’s as well stop looking at nude photo’s I have told God, in the past that this was like a emotional drug but after words I felt dirty and ashamed this as well open the door for satan to start the injection process of the thought If God, wanted to help you with this you would have been fully delivered from this by now

Even though the Battle within me continued I still felt God, was through with me, I didn’t realize God, was sending His angels when He, felt that the devil was over whelming me to much but even though God, was sending His, Angels at times I was to numb to sense God, was by my side fighting for my soul, as I continued to commit adultery in my heart I couldn’t shake the feeling that I felt betrayed because I was betraying Gods, command about sexual lust… I finally Broke down and asked God for forgiveness and after I was done with the prayer I thought to myself God, could you please show me a sign that you’re not done with me 4 mins went by and I saw the following on my Facebook feed.

When I saw this on my feed I knew God, was talking to me but I was struck by the fact God, asked me Will I Accept Him, I thought to my self I already have, Then I thought to myself it wouldn’t hurt to re-accept God, at this point since I did forsake God, with my sinful actions  →Read Part 2←

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