Experiencing God's Enduring Love

When I took a moment to look back just 5yrs ago I started to take notice that “Gods’ Enduring Love” was reaching out towards me back then… But then I was too wrapped up in my anger issues and self ignorance to the point I didn’t even realize God’ was calling out to me through a Dad that use too beat and display hate towards me.. God’ also tried through other methods that God, sought fit to grab my attention but I was not ready at that current time. Even though I had no prior notice I was going to come upon the most darkest moments in my life that would last me many years after my dads death and I did start to begin the dark emotional roller coaster that God’ knew I was going to go through… While I did God’ never stopped showing his enduring love towards me I was just too blind to see God’s Enduring Love at the time because I was so entangled with entrapment of a spiraling anger issue that I had towards my father for beating me when I was a child… But soon after he passed away I took that anger I had towards my dad, and turned that anger towards myself for not trying to set up a son, and father, relationship that my dad, put forth time and effort into trying to make amends even though he knew he couldn’t change the past… He had his sights on the present time and I was too selfish and hurt to put any effort on my end to set up a better relationship with my father…

See at that point in my life I felt that it was too late to try to make amends for his actions towards me I felt like why show me love now as your son when before I was nothing in his eye’s… But see God’ was working on his heart after his first stroke and my dad was actually grieving for what he put me through because he had his own life issues when I was growing up and instead of handling those life issues straight on he would try to bury the problems by drinking.

When he was drunk I was nothing more than a punching bag in my dads, eye’s so I grow up hating God’ because I couldn’t rationalize why God’ was allowing my father too complete such a violent act against me… So I grew up not trusting in the word “Love” let alone the actions surrounding the word love, and since God, promotes love for his children, I wanted nothing to do with God, and I lived most of my life avoiding God, because of the Fact I was scared of the word “love” and the “actions surrounding the notion of love”… Even though during those last 5yrs my father spent here on Earth God’ had a plan to prove that even though actions in the past can not be un-done doesn’t mean I had to live the rest of my life avoiding “Love” because I was scared and turned off by the notion of love by the violent actions my dad, completed against me…

Since the last 5yrs of my fathers passing I have had a chance to revisit down memory lane and especially within the last year I have taken notice to a lot of things while my dad was still here among us on earth… For instance God’ has pointed out to me within the last couple of months how much I have been spiritually drowning and even though I was spiritually drowning God’s enduring love was what kept me afloat enough not to drown all these years since my fathers passing.

Conclusion: No matter what you’re going through no matter how dark the moment is for you now. God’ is beside you pouring his everlasting enduring love to help you through the confusion and hardship times you may face or are facing at the moment when you feel you have no more strength don’t be afraid of God’s enduring love and strength lean upon God’… because God’ will carry you so you can rest and gain your strength back I promise you this from a first hand experience… (God’ Bless, you all and I hope this post blesses you in some way!)

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